it’s taken a month, but i think i’ve finally caught on to some of the most important aspects of spanish culture:
1. how to get on the bus when you’re out of money:
swipe, hear the 3 beeps, look at the bus driver and pretend you dont know spanish. continue walking. (make sure you’re in the middle of the line for this one, not at the end.)
2. how to get the check at a restaurant:
yell.
3. how to refuse food from a determined spanish mother:
tell her you have a stomach ache and if you eat one more bite you might explode, or worse, throw up on the table.
4. how to peel an orange:
must use a knife. make circular cuts around the top and bottom. remove, including soft core (successss). now you have a band of peel around the orange. make slits all the way around. pull them off with the knife. clean off all extra white parts. split open. enjoy. repeat.
5. how to answer a phone call:
DIGAME.
6. how to get alcohol after 1030 pm:
its behind the counter at the drug store. ask for it discreetly, hide the bag once your’e out of the store.
7. how to excuse yourself from class for a few minutes:
say you need a coffee.
8. how to avoid being trampled on the bus:
stand against the wall opposite of the exit door. unless by an odd chance of luck there is an empty seat, then by all means sit down. but be respectful of the elderly and let them sit first. obviously.
9. how to get exercise:
walk home from school. with a backpack full of books.
10. too much olive oil in your dish?
wipe it up with your bread. enjoy.
11. how to navigate alicante:
downhill always takes you to the beach. coming home, the castle should always be on your right. if its on your left, you’re on the wrong side of town. if you’re suddenly going up a steep hill, you’re probably on the castle.
12. how to successfully book a ticket on ryanair:
still unknown.
more to come. besos, todos.
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